Can we have it all?

Having it all has been seen as the aim for women everywhere since Cosmopolitan editor Helen Brown famously talked about it in her book from the 80s Having It All, Love, success, Sex and Money. Ironically Helen Brown never had children, her “all” didn’t include Motherhood, however, it has now become the “catchphrase” of our generation of mothers, trying to balance, Motherhood, work, family and friends.

You see whether we have it all, comes down to our perspective, what do you think is your all? For Helen Brown, success was not motherhood, it was success at work, success at love, and financial independence. That was her having it all!

In the new age of feminism, we have decided that women need to have it all, right now. We need everything, family, money, love, and fitness. However, for some, we can have it all, just not at the same time. Having it all doesn’t mean the same thing to different people.

Having it all doesn’t mean that we have or want the same things as men or the same thing as others. It’s about having the choice and having the same opportunities.

Having it all is more than what society expects of us, it’s more than what our family or friends expect of us. It is purely our perspective and ours alone.

Having it all often means that your life won’t be Pinterest perfect, it won’t be being able to be at every event, or having the perfect children all the time. It’s about having the right balance and getting to the end of the day feeling fulfilled in whatever you are doing.

For some people, it is being that Pinterest mum, the best mum, wife, or partner they can be. 

For others, it’s the balance between work, family and relationships.

For others, it’s our businesses, blogs, and motherhood.

For others, Motherhood doesn’t even enter into the equation.

We need to stop judging other’s people choices, and comparing ourselves, and realise what the real question is?

The question isn’t what is everybody else doing, it’s what are you doing?

Do you feel balanced, do you feel complete, and do you feel like you have a purpose a reason to get up each morning?

If you feel that you need to juggle motherhood and work at the moment and are struggling how can you find that balance? Do you need to look at outsourcing getting someone in to help with your washing, cleaning your bathroom those jobs that get pushed aside? Do you need to sit down with your partner/husband and have a real talk about how you need to be a team and both pull your weight in and outside the house? Do you need to organise childcare, a nanny, and au pair to help with the children? Do you need to get up earlier a couple of days a week to exercise, to make yourself a priority? Do you need to organise a babysitter occasionally to have date nights with your husband to make your relationship a priority? Do you need to put the iPad, or iPhone down a couple of nights a week to spend time with your husband?

We need to write lists and priorities what do we need to do now, what can wait?

We need to learn to say No! This is so important to learn. But we also need to learn to say Yes, yes to help, yes to opportunities!

We need to know our limitations and work within them.

Do you feel like you “Have it all” are you balancing your life right now?