To Be Kind

A few years ago, I sat in the church at my Auntie’s funeral.

As I listened to the stories and eulogies being shared, one word kept echoing through every speech, every tear, every smile.

Kind.

If you asked me to describe her in just one word, that would be it the word kind. And I wasn’t the only one. Everyone who stood up to speak said the same thing. She was kind. She wanted her children to learn one lesson above all else: to be kind.

She lived that lesson every day. She loved her life, and she loved people.

That’s the legacy she left behind. And it’s the legacy I want to leave too, for myself, and for my children.

But kindness feels like it’s in short supply these days. In a world where it’s so easy to be cruel behind the safety of a screen, we forget how powerful simple kindness can be.

Just the other day, my primary school aged son came home from school upset. His cousin noticed something was off and gently asked, “Why were you upset at first break? Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.”

My son replied, “Some kids were bullying me.”

So I gently asked what happened. He’d been sitting on a gym mat, quietly eating his lunch. Then a teacher asked him to quickly go put his thermos away. When he came back, a group of girls had taken his mat. He approached them kindly. “I just went to put my lunch away. Can I have the mat back?”

They had a choice. A small one, but a meaningful one.

They could have chosen kindness.

Instead, they said, “No! they then laughed and turned away.” He asked again, still calm, still polite. And they responded by calling him “fat” and taunting him. The irony? My son has ADHD, and if anything, he’s far from overweight. But that wasn’t the point. The point is, they had a choice. And they chose to be mean.

When my nephew heard the story, he was heartbroken. “Tell me next time,” he said, “I’ll help you.” Then, without hesitation, he asked, “Was it…?” and listed three names. My son nodded. “Yeah. They’re so mean.” It hit me then, these girls already have a reputation. Not for kindness. But for cruelty. Already, at such a young age, they’re being defined by the way they treat others. And that breaks my heart.

It makes me even more determined to raise my children to be known for something else. For kindness. For empathy. For choosing the right thing, even when no one is watching, or especially when everyone is. Because in the end, how we treat people is the legacy we leave.

We have a choice to make daily, will our legacy be that of kindess, or will we be known as the “Mean Girls”?

I know I make that choice daily, And I want our legacy to be one of kindness.