Stranger Danger and the Colours That Made It Clear.

As a parent, the concept of “stranger danger” was one I wrestled with deeply. My early parenting years were marked by hyper-vigilance. While this was heightened because my son is neurodivergent, I know the struggle is the same for many parents.

Some might have labelled me over protective but that was never the case. I wasn’t being overprotective. I simply took my role as a parent with the highest regard. My son needed extra support to understand concepts that many children seem to pick up instinctively.

What helped us both was a simple but powerful tool; the Social Circle Colours.

We gave every relationship in his world a colour, making it concrete and easy to understand.

Now I didn’t come up with this system, I was taught it by one of my son’s therapist, who had learnt it from someone else.

Purple – Himself: His body, his space. He had full control over who could touch or enter that space.

Blue – Us, His Family, he can kiss and cuddle them both only if he wants too.

Green – Friends: People he could hug or cuddle, but only if they both wanted to.

Yellow – Familiar Faces: People he might see every day, like shopkeepers or neighbours. He could talk to them, but only with family, and he wasnt to touch, hug etc.

Orange – Community Helpers: Police, ambulance officers, doctors—strangers, yes, but safe in times of need because of their uniforms and badges.

Red – Strangers: Whether in person or online, these were people he wasn’t to reach out to.

This system gave him, and me, clarity, safety, and independence.

Even now as he is moving into High school, we still use the system, the other day he had somebody message him in one of his games that he played, and I reminded him, they are strangers, they are in the red colour wheel, so he is not to respond.

Of course, there were also some funny moments. I’ll never forget walking into a crowded airport lift filled with tourists when he loudly asked: “Mum, what colour are they?” Cue me awkwardly explaining the Social Circle Colours concept to a group of complete strangers in a lift!

Parenting is never straightforward, but this simple colour system gave my son the tools he needed to navigate the social world, and it gave me the reassurance that he was learning safe, healthy boundaries.

If you’d like to know more about the Social Circle Colours system and how it can help your own child, I’ve written a children’s book that introduces it in a fun, engaging way.

You can find it here – Social Circle Colours